acceptance

"Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is." -Albert Camus, French existentialist writer, born in Mondovi, Algeria. He earned an international reputation with his nihilistic novel, L'Etranger (1942, The Outsider). Later novels include La Peste (1947, The Plague) and La Chute (1956, The Fall), and he also wrote plays and several political works. He received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957.

I found myself thinking something along these lines last night at Bunko. It seems all of the ladies in my group, except myself and about two others, are steadfast dieters, constantly talking about their diets, how much weight they've lost and how their clothes are starting to just hang on them. I'm not sure where my annoyance is coming from, maybe jealousy, okay, but on the other hand, I'm so *#!@$% tired of the whole diet issue. I'm tired of women constantly being unhappy with themselves; trying to look like Lyndsey Lohan and Nicole Ritchie who, by the way, are like 19 years old and have more time and money to put into their appearance than any normal woman ever would. No one in the group is overweight to the point of being unhealthy. They all look like women in their 30's and 40's are supposed to look.

Maybe the topic strikes such a cord with me because deep down I'm the same way. Always concious of my image and how my clothes are fitting. The difference is I'm trying to come out of it! I'm starting to actually accept my body and be happy with it. I don't want to waste any more of my life unhappy with myself. I'm starting to buy clothes because they fit and feel good and look good not because of the number on the tag. In fact, the last couple of pants I've bought are a larger size than usual, but once I got them on and realized how good it felt to be in non-tight pants, I was actually happy about it.

Another reason such thing annoys me is that it is just one more thing we women compete with. It's like a game to see who can get the skinniest the fastest. It's not good for our relationships. We really do need to accept each other and ourselves for who we really are. And, yes, we need to be healthy. But is an almost obsessive fascination with our weight and the weight of our friends healthy? I can't think so.